I am feeling like I have come to the edge of the world that was familiar in some ways...and like I am standing at the edge of a very expansive, expanded Unknown...I cannot see what is ahead...all I know is I am moving rapidly right into it! I feel like I am coming apart at seams...I feel like my being is dissolving and it will reassemble some place else, like I am being beamed or so I imagine how being beamed would feel like. Nothing is ever the same... It feels like I am dying. At times it feels like my body cannot this metamorphosis, it is way too much than this vehicle can take...then I realize it is my mind who is having hard time to accommodate the possibility of dying and being reborn at the same time while staying in the body.
There is a miracle going on in us, through us...in the very moment.....it is deep and intense...sweet and bitter at the same time....Something is beckoning, I cannot say no...It is almost like a vacuum cleaner that is pulling me into it...the more the resistance the more the struggle, the more difficult it is...yet the mind things it is its death....and maybe it is dying...
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